nothing lasts...not even hair color

My hero, by far, is Audrey Hepburn!

I own nearly all of her works, and adore them all. She was such a talented lady and had a lot of grace too. But i love how she knew how to have fun and be crazy. You dont see hollywood how it used to be any more, like all things though. History changes and people change, rules change, styles change. Somehow being a drug and alcohol addict is cool now, and people take pity on you. It's quite sad.

lol

There are no more grace kelly's, clark gables, james stewarts, and even though Maralin Monroe was a bit trashy, she was still amazingly beautiful! It's just not the same. Last year isnt the same as this year!! I'm not planning my wedding any more, i get to live my life and be a wife and have fun!! I'm adjusting to a new way of living, and i love it! I'm learning to cook (which i am getting to be amazing at) i have to continuously clean. Before it was a once every 3 month extravaganza. I can't do that any more!!! I own two little kitties and they are adorable. But they are a lot of work. I'm dead serious, these cats are crazy. I have never owned cats like them before and i love them to death. They are my children.

This week isnt the same as last week. Last monday was the last straw for me, and i couldnt take it any more. I was done. I am officially a beauty school drop out.

I didnt feel like i was learning what i should, i wasnt learning enough, and it was always next week that we would really get crackin. But life is too short to start next week!! I wasnt making enough money to help pay the bills. Duane cant be the only one bringing in money. So i quit. I was there for over a year, but i dont count that as waste. Maybe i didnt learn as much as i should have about hair, but i learn plenty about life and love...

maybe more than i should have.

lol

so im on a new quest. Should i stay put at the job i have now and hopefully get more hours, or should i find a new job???? I'm in school which makes it impossible for me to work full time. But this is the school i want to keep doing. I tried doing hair. I was good at it, but it wasnt for me. After you put color on, you have to redo it after 6 weeks or so,

“People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.” - Audrey Hepburn

Goodbye hair school...

hello life...

hello

it's always so awkward to post the first blog. lol

i never capitalize or punctuate because word document for windows has taught me to do so because they fix everything for you as you type... so i may be lazy. This is the highest form of therapy for me. I cant always express myself with words by speech, but i can by writing which is why i am writing all the time. I have always blogged and written all of my thoughts. Mostly in diaries to imaginary people who i would complain to and hate on people. haha, i hated my life as a teenager and writing in a diary to Cleo and then to Stella really did help me to cope with everything. After i finished those books and could no longer think of any other psychics names, i started blogging to God and actually telling a REAL person my problems, thoughts and feelings. i have never written the same way. You dont tell God that you hate your mom or your family, and by blogging to God, i get a responce to the things i write. It's much better. There is a different perspective.

With all of my writings over my life, and how i have found comfort in it, i have developed a desire to write a book in my lifetime. Not about anything specific, but about life. It would be my biggest blog ever. I have learned a lot in my short life, maybe more than i should have because of my choices in life, but i have learned hard lessons that i wish to pass on.

things i hate:

• ignorance
• cattyness
• most girls
• money
• being cold
• stinky people
• dirty bed sheets
• my mom's truck
• full time office jobs

things i love:

• food
• my ds
• intellectual discussions
• my family
• my journals
• bible
• music
• concerts
• clothes
• hair color